Dilemma
Dilemma Dilemma Number 1After getting my results and finally graduated for 3 weeks liao, I've finally felt that enough of play already. Not a good feeling of being unemployed and not contributing to the society. Flipped the recruit section and cut alot of companies I wanna send my CV to. While I was writing CV for every company that I was interested in, it suddenly dawned upon me that whether I should actually be going out working for others instead of my dad's company.
Few factors that made me wanna work outside (at least for the 1st year)
1. Gain experience
2. Learn the way other companies function
3. Prove to my parents and friends that I need not depend on my dad. (even for job)
Factors that made me think otherwise
1. Since in the long term, I intend to work for my dad, why waste 1 or 2 years working/contributing to other company? I can use that time to learn from scratch and pick things up from there.
2. My dad is 60+ le, and I'm in my mid 20s, it would be beneficial to start soon.
3. Even though the salary may not be comparable to a fresh diploma graduate, I should overlook this coz my dad had loved me and brought me up, it's one way of showing my love too. I wish that I can bring the company to greater heights.
4. Working for other companies may not get the experience/exposure I want towards working for my dad's company.
However, I have to agree that there'll be expectation and cannot slack in the company. Have to step out of my comfort zone to mingle with both the workers and the office personel in the company. (interpersonal and communication skills come in). I also would like to improve whatever technical ways I can. All these takes time. Have to weigh all these costs and take the risk. If I were to take this route means I forgo status (being an engineer), professional salary (don't expect much) but more of wanting to serve and make a difference in the long run.
Dilemma Dilemma Number 2
My little sister has been giving my parents a big headache again. At 15 this year, and since the start of school, she had only attended school ONCE. Condemn the teacher and the class since then. Saying stupid rules and stupid students. That's not all, when she goes out, she will be back the following day (less than 24 hours) and she dun bother to answer the phone or call back that she'll not be coming back and stuff.
She had picked up smoking and my parents had resented to it liao. Now they only hoped that she dun pick up drugs. One may suggest to cut her allowance, but my dad scared that she'll do things illegally to get the money. Since young, whatever she wanted she gets it. You name it, she has it. (ranging from PSone, parrot, chinchillia, husky, mini coolie, high end phones)
Filed for Beyond Parental Control and was thrown into Girls' home for 3 months. Came out was "guai" for 1 week or so but after that began to show her old leopard spots. My parents love her alot and think that thru their own strength and will, they'll be able to change her. Dad became less hot tempered and didn't question much. Talk to her in a calm manner even though inside was very angry of why she treat the house like a hotel. My mum also tried talking to her and relating to her as a fren. My parents had done much more for her than they had done for us.
I think the problem besides being pampered also lies in the fact that the generation now seeks FREEDOM but do not want RESPONSIBILITIES. Even branded school students whom I had "taught" during their attachment in NTU feel the same way too. They want to do anything they feel like, say whatever they feel like without thinking of the consequences involved and how others might feel. In short, the world revolved around the unholy trinity. Me, myself and I. Whatever I feel is right. Whatever I do is MY business. No need to think of the future, what is important is now. Happy can liao. Right?
Last time if wanna break contact with bad company, one can just change phone number, ground the person. However with Internet (hmmm.....this is dunno how many time I said that it's a double edged sword), you can NEVER erase a person's contact with another if they want. Imagine friendster, msn messenger, IRC, emails, handphones. All these are too easily accessible. My lil sis's friendster got over 300 testimonials and nearly 500 frens! can you beat that? Any stranger can juz come add you into the friendster and msn list and a chat will be easily linked from there.
okok. enough of all these background info. My parents are in a dilemma whether should they put her in a girls home again. (of coz they dun want that to happen). Rather let her be there then ruining her life if she pick up drugs. Gave her 3 options.
1. Go back School
2. Go learn haircut (her "passion") (fee is about the price of uni fee i heard)
3. Go girls' home
Well, praying that she turns around and at least be more sensible and responsible. Not asking to quit smoking or whatever liao.
posted by tornado @ 6:05 AM
4 Comments:
Hi nigel,
For your 1st dilemma, What I would do is to go out to work 1st before I will join my dad's company (if my dad ever has one). Well, No matter what we learn in schools, it's no match for watever experience we learn from work. So i reckon, that you will definitely be able to bring something back to your dad's company eventually.
For the second one, I'm sorry to hear about what is happening... But I feel that sometimes, when the child doesnt fall and get injured, they never know what's pain. I know as parents it is tough standing by and doing nothing but there's so much one can do. If u force her to continue her studies, she may resent you for life.
Let her go to the hairdressing academy, at least she's not outside loitering and being tempted to do anything illegal.
Also, have you tried counselling? It may help. Another point to note, you can secretly follow your sister out and see what she does during her "missing" time. Perhaps this will give you an idea on her behaviour and thoughts.
I hope all will turn out well eventually.
Humm... Since u say that time is not on ur side, then must set ur goal and objective first. If u r in ur dad company, what can u learn and contribute? Do e staff there view u differently since u r e boss's son? Typically to me there r 3 types, 1, view u as u depend on ur dad and may perceive and doubt ur abilities, 2, suck up on u and 3, which is e most ideal one, treat u as a normal staff. If possible, dont let them know that u r e boss's son.
For lene to ur 2nd dilemma, i do agree that u might want to try to follow her once in a while, at least u know who she mixed around wif. But dont get caught, if not e relationship may become more sour as she will think that u dont trust her. But, prevention is better than cure, its always better to prevent something from happening rather then crying over spilled milk.
Ya, forget to add some more for ur sis part...its very bad for health since she is still 'growing'. BTW, smoking can quit one, mayb its just peer pressure to dare her to smoke? and then later become a norm or habit liao.
Think she is too 'Xin Fu' liao, always got what she wanted. But ur parent and u cant take care of her forever also. Some ppl just wont learn till they get hurts.
Well, i'm working from the foundation. Learning from foundation and also earning from basics (1.6k-1.8k gross). One thing we can't change is ppl's perspective of you. But at least I can get to know them and let them get to know me. I'm not one who's hao lian or bossy ma.
I think the current gen Z ppl are different from Gen X or Gen Y. They think for themselves more than anybody else. And they dun care. Thus there's only so much u can prevent and do. The rest is conviction. Conviction comes from personal experience (not personal experience from another person). Thus need to fall and learn. What one can do is when they fall, assist them to getting up and be the support then.
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